Today I realized I have a special needs son. He can not talk to me, he often stares and does not communicate with my world. He won't ask for a toy, he'll scream but he won't say what the toy is.
My world is rocked by this child. How will I be able to be his Mom and live with him not being able to speak to me, it's such an unknown and suddenly I realize communication means more to me than ever. Not knowing so much about him.
What is his favorite????? Oh so many questions. What do you want to eat? Drink? Say smoothie I begged him, no words came from his lips. Do you want a smoothie? I am passing McDonalds if you want it say smoothie. The words don't form, he does not tell me what he wants.
We went to Krogers and he wanted a toy, but I told him I would not purchase it unless he said the word Mater or Please. These words were never even attempted, all I knew was he wanted the toy. He cried all the way home. I am at a loss for what it means to realize my child is not what I expected. Will his communication be like this when he is five, how long until he forms words and sentences and can tell me things. My heart is broken.
In the end I return to McDonalds and purchase him a smoothie, he does not eat a hot dog today. He only drinks and I wonder if there is more damage or proportion size is off to his throat, and why today he does not want to eat.
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